In America we eat man semen.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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