u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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