when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
