Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
