Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
