have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
