I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize