Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
