Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
