Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
