I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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