ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Mom said you looked used
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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