ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
