his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize