I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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