he puts the penis in happiness.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
