I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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