I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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