yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
