why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
