At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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