Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
