Fine. I'll sleep in my office
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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