The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize