So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
