apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Enjoy the penises
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize