I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
