i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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