Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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