I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
