No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
