i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
