When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm at about main and main street
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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