I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
