she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
