I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
