Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
