Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox

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(818): View more from California

why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."

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(208): View more from Idaho

No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes

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(310): View more from California

we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid

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(740): View more from Ohio

I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.

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(410): View more from Maryland

my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals

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