Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was not drunk enough for that final.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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