THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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