I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
