Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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