i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
