Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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