so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You made out with two different species that night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
