I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize