best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
