at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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