yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
