She went from zero to smokin in five shots
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
