Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Panties = found
Randomize
