going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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