apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
