he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
