Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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