awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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