His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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