we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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