Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
