Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
