How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
