she was so not down for the gang bang
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
