He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
