i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
