i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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