Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Small penises have feelings too.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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