i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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